What if the confidence you’re waiting for doesn’t arrive before you take the first step? What if it grows because you take it?
On the Power of After Show, I spoke with Kerri Roberts about the quiet, everyday work of building a self-trust muscle. After spending about 20 years in corporate leadership, Kerri stepped into entrepreneurship and founded Salt and Light Advisors. Her experience has taught her that self-trust is less like a gift we’re born with and more like a muscle we strengthen through use.
That matters when we’re asking, “What’s next?” Whether we want to begin a business, improve our health, write a book or repair a relationship, a new direction often requires us to move forward without knowing exactly how everything will turn out. Self-trust gives us a place to begin.
What is Self-Trust?
Self-trust is the belief that we can count on ourselves to make thoughtful choices, honor our commitments, learn from mistakes and respond when things don’t go as planned. It doesn’t mean we’ll always make the perfect decision. It means we’re willing to take responsibility for our next step.
Kerri pointed out that we often look outside ourselves when we talk about trust. We may wonder whom we can rely on or wish someone else would make us feel more secure. Yet we can overlook the relationship we have with ourselves—and the small ways we either strengthen or weaken that relationship each day.
Think about the promises you make to yourself. Perhaps you intend to take a walk, drink more water or set aside time for a project. When you follow through, you collect evidence that your intentions can become actions. When you repeatedly make commitments you don’t keep, you may begin to doubt your own word.
This doesn’t mean one missed walk ruins your self-trust! Life happens. Schedules change, bodies need rest and priorities sometimes shift. What matters is paying attention to patterns and making realistic commitments we can return to when we get off track.
The Cost of Losing Trust in Yourself
A lack of self-trust can make even an exciting opportunity feel overwhelming. You may have a wonderful idea, but another voice asks, “Will I really follow through? What if I can’t do it?”
Over time, that doubt can lead to hesitation, procrastination and an uncomfortable habit of looking to everyone else for reassurance. We may keep gathering advice while postponing the decision we need to make. Or we may abandon a meaningful goal because we haven’t yet seen proof that we can manage the work.
Broken promises can also accumulate in the background. An unfinished task may seem small on its own, but when it joins several others, the list can feel heavier than any one item deserves. Instead of thinking, “I haven’t done that yet,” we may begin to think, “I never finish anything.” That’s a much larger—and often untrue—story to carry.
Kerri suggested that difficulty trusting ourselves can also affect how we approach trust with others. Relationships are complex, and another person’s actions matter. Still, examining our own patterns can help us see where we have choices and where we need to rebuild confidence in our judgment.
Courage Comes Before Confidence
Kerri knows what it’s like to enter unfamiliar territory. She felt confident as a corporate leader, but starting her own business meant learning new systems, finding clients and promoting her own work. The experience was exciting and vulnerable at the same time.
She didn’t know every outcome in advance. What she did know was that she could show up, make connections and keep working at the steps within her control. Past commitments she had honored gave her evidence that she could be disciplined and persistent—even while feeling uncertain. (Get Deborah's Books here: BOOKS)
That distinction is important. Self-trust doesn’t remove fear or guarantee success. It helps us act with courage while uncertainty is still present. We can do something scared, learn from the experience and discover that we can move forward. Confidence often follows.
I’ve found the same principle in writing and technology. Every book still involves revisions and questions. And when a new program refuses to cooperate, I may have to try several approaches and ask for help. There is rarely a magic button—although I would happily buy one if there were!
Daily Disciplines that Build Self-Trust
Kerri’s routines show how ordinary practices can support a bigger purpose. She begins by resetting her home, giving herself a calmer environment for journaling and the rest of her day. She also makes time for movement, nutritious meals, gratitude and family dinner.
Her exact routine won’t fit everyone. Our work schedules, health, responsibilities and seasons of life are different. The invitation is to choose practices that support your values and then give them a place in your day.
Here are a few ways to begin:
- Make one promise small enough to keep. Instead of committing to an hour of exercise every day, begin with a ten-minute walk or another movement that works for you.
- Create a simple reset. Clear your desk, prepare for tomorrow or put away a few things that distract you. A short reset can make it easier to focus on the next task.
- Take time to think. Journaling is a great tool to consider what we think and feel, rather than immediately reaching for an outside answer. A few quiet minutes and a notebook can help you hear your own thoughts.
- Practice gratitude. Gratitude can be built into a daily walk. You might name three specific things you appreciate during your morning coffee or before bed.
- Follow through with flexibility. If a commitment no longer fits, adjust it honestly. Changing a plan with intention is different from repeatedly making promises you know you can’t keep.
- These practices don’t need to be impressive. Their strength is in repetition. Each time you choose an achievable action and follow through, you give yourself another reason to trust your word.
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What is Brain Space?
During our conversation, Kerri used the phrase “brain space” to describe the attention taken up by things we keep thinking about. It’s the project you’ve delayed, the appointment you need to schedule or the Pilates credits you keep meaning to use.
Even when you aren’t working on the task, it can follow you into other parts of the day. You might be taking a walk or spending time with family while a quiet voice reminds you of what you haven’t done. The concern occupies attention you could otherwise give to rest, creativity or the people in front of you.
The first suggestion is to take one small step. If a project is weighing on you, set a timer for 15 minutes and begin. You don’t have to finish the whole thing. Open the file, outline the first section or send the email. Making a little progress can make the next step easier to see.
I use a timer when my office needs attention. As a creative person, I can move from one project to the next while the piles quietly develop their own personalities. A short, focused cleanup helps me begin without feeling I have to solve everything at once.
Protect Your Mental Real-Estate
Mental real estate is a helpful image for the limited room we have for attention. Just as a physical room can become crowded, our minds can fill with unresolved decisions, repeated worries and reminders of things we’ve put off.
Kerri described a hole in the wall that needs patching. I immediately thought of a squeaky office door and the small repair I had been meaning to make. I even had the nail! Yet every time the door squeaked, it reminded me that the job was still waiting.
Not every concern can be resolved in 15 minutes. A difficult relationship or health issue may need patience, support and several conversations. But you can often identify one next action: make an appointment, write down a question for your doctor or arrange a time to talk. If action isn’t possible today, deciding when to revisit the issue can help you stop carrying it as an undefined obligation.
The goal is not to clear every thought from your mind. It’s to become more intentional about what occupies your attention so you can give space to your most important work, relationships and rest.
Application: Start with One Small Step
What has been quietly taking up space in your mind? Choose one or two things you’ve been postponing and decide on a specific next step. Put it on your calendar, write it down or ask a trusted friend to help hold you accountable.
Then follow through—and notice what happens. You may not solve the entire problem today, but you’ll have evidence that you can begin.
The self-trust muscle grows as we practice. Each thoughtful commitment, honest adjustment and courageous step helps us move toward what’s next with greater clarity and confidence.
Additional Resources
Find out more about Kerri Roberts here: SaltandLightAdvisors.com
The Summit: Journey to Hero Mountain by Deborah Johnson: an inspiring journey to conquer self-doubt, fear, and criticism, including the protagonist’s own inner critic.
Power of After: What's Next Can Be Your Most Purposeful Chapter by Deborah Johnson
Hero Mountain Summit: Power of After 5-Step Framework: A 5-month entrepreneurial mentorship designed to help mid-life professionals break free from stagnation and rise toward purposeful success.
FREE Downloads: Goal Setting Worksheets ; Power of After 7 Ingredients for Success Guide
FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks
Deborah’s Music Products: https://djworksmusic.com/products/
YouTube Podcast Playlist (Subscribe!): Women at Halftime/Power of After
Kerri Roberts
Kerri Roberts is the host of Don't Waste the Chaos, author of The HR Easy Button, and a 20+ year HR & People Operations executive turned founder. She's worked inside complex, high-stakes environments - healthcare, education, insurance, mortgage, and award-winning organizations - and now partner with leaders who want clarity, structure, and momentum without adding unnecessary complexity.
Self-trust doesn’t remove fear or guarantee success. It helps us act with courage while uncertainty is still present.
deborah johnson
Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author
If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning
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