Have you ever been incredibly busy and still had the uneasy feeling that you are not really getting anywhere?
Your calendar is full. You answer emails, meet deadlines, solve problems, take care of people, research possibilities, and perhaps even start several new projects. From the outside, it looks like movement. But inside, the same question keeps returning: Why am I still here?
That is the danger of living in the roundabout.
A roundabout is designed to keep traffic moving, but it is never intended to become a destination. You enter, assess where you are, watch the traffic, choose the proper exit, and continue toward where you want to go. Now this sounds simple enough, but it’s not always easy! Recently, I found myself a bit stressful when on a bike and having to maneuver around a roundabout. It takes concentration to not only enter but exit!
Imagine deciding to simply keep circling. Whether in a moving vehicle or on a bike, you would burn fuel, accumulate miles, and probably irritate a few drivers—but you would not arrive anywhere.
In my book STOP CIRCLING, I use the roundabout as a picture of the seasons of life when we are active but stuck, circling. We can be moving without making meaningful progress. We can become so accustomed to circling that the familiar begins to feel safer than choosing an exit.
My upcoming book MOVE BEYOND takes that idea deeper. Sometimes the obstacle is not merely a lack of direction. We may be carrying distorted thinking, fear, blame, false confidence, anxiety, or beliefs that keep pulling us back into the same loop. Moving forward requires more than choosing a new activity. It requires recognizing what is keeping us in the circle in the first place.
How We End up Circling
The Hidden Cost of the Familiar
There is another reason we keep circling: familiarity feels safer than uncertainty.
Even an uncomfortable roundabout can become predictable. We know its curves. We know where the bumps are. We know how to survive another lap, another circle around. An exit, however, leads somewhere we have not yet traveled.
That may require learning new technology, changing a habit, asking for help, risking rejection, admitting something did not work, or letting go of an identity we have carried for years.
This is where MOVE BEYOND adds another layer to the roundabout principle. If we do not examine the thinking underneath our choices, we can change circumstances and still recreate the same patterns.
A victimhood mindset may keep us blaming the traffic rather than taking responsibility for the exit. False confidence may keep us pretending we have everything handled rather than admitting where we need growth. Anxiety may cause us to rehearse every possible disaster until doing nothing feels like the safest option. Low self-esteem may whisper, “That exit is for someone else.”
The circumstances differ, but the result is remarkably similar: another lap.
Recognizing the pattern is not failure. It is feedback. Once we see what is happening, we can begin changing direction.
POSITION: Tell the Truth about Where You Are
The first exit principle is to establish your current position.
This sounds simple, but it can be surprisingly difficult. We tend to evaluate ourselves according to where we think we should be, where someone else is, or where we were ten years ago when we had our “15 minutes of fame!”
Instead, we need to ask: Where am I today?
What is working now? What is draining me? Which skills remain strong? What relationships support growth? Don’t discount relationships, including social relationships. They are very important! Which habits are helping? Where have I become stuck? What resources do I already possess? This includes your experience.
In STOP CIRCLING, I developed the HALFERS assessment tool as one way to evaluate a current position across important areas of life. The specific tool matters less than the willingness to look honestly and compassionately at reality.
MOVE BEYOND reinforces the importance of truth. Transformation cannot be built on distortion. We have to identify what is true before we can make a healthy change.
Truth is not intended to condemn us. It gives us coordinates.
If the GPS believes you are in Texas when you are actually in California, even the most detailed directions will be useless. I wanted our pilot to know we were in Texas on our way back to California on our recent flight! The same principle applies to life. Accurate direction begins with an accurate starting point.
PERSPECTIVE: Get Above the Traffic
The second principle is Perspective.
When you are inside a roundabout, your attention naturally goes to what is immediately around you: cars merging, exits approaching, horns honking, and perhaps there’s a driver who believes turn signals are merely decorative.
Life can feel the same way.
When we are stressed, disappointed, or afraid, our field of vision narrows. The immediate problem becomes the entire landscape.
Perspective requires elevation.
Sometimes that comes through a mentor, coach, trusted friend, prayer, journaling, reading, or simply stepping away long enough to think. Someone outside our circle may see an exit we have driven past five times.
Perspective also means examining the thoughts we repeatedly rehearse. In MOVE BEYOND, I emphasize moving our thinking through truth rather than automatically accepting every thought that appears. Our beliefs shape our values, and our values shape our lives. If the belief underneath a decision is distorted, the direction will eventually be distorted too.
Here’s what we can ask: Is this thought true? Is it useful? Is fear making this decision for me? Am I responding to reality or to an old story?
A change in perspective can reveal possibilities that were present all along.
PURPOSE: Choose an Exit Worth Taking
The third principle is Purpose.
You can know where you are and gain a wonderful new perspective, but eventually you still have to choose an exit. Purpose supplies the reason.
A strong why helps us tolerate the uncertainty of change. It gives meaning to the learning curve, the awkward first attempts, and the possibility that the new road will not be perfectly smooth. I can easily recall our recent bike trip with some of the roads that needed repair! They weren’t smooth, but we could still ride easily on them.
Purpose does not necessarily mean discovering one enormous life mission that’s laid out for us. In different seasons of life, purpose may involve building a business, caring for family, mentoring others, creating meaningful work, restoring health, developing a talent, serving a community, or using decades of experience in a new way.
The important question is not simply, “What do I want to leave?” It is, “What am I moving toward?” That distinction matters.
Escaping something can create temporary momentum. Moving toward something meaningful creates direction.
In MOVE BEYOND, restoration is an important part of that process. Restoration is not merely returning life to exactly what it was. It is taking what remains—experience, wisdom, abilities, relationships, even lessons learned through broken places—and rebuilding toward usefulness, strength, beauty, and purpose.
Sometimes the exit from the roundabout is not a return to the old road. It is the beginning of a better one.
Core Values Keep You from Taking the Wrong Exit
Not every exit is the right exit. I can say with confidence that most everyone has taken some sort of wrong exit when traveling. In life, this is where core values become essential.
An opportunity can look impressive and still take us somewhere we do not want to live. More money may come with a lifestyle we no longer want. Visibility may demand compromises we are unwilling to make. A new venture may be exciting but pull us away from relationships, faith, health, or responsibilities we consider foundational.
Core values function like a compass inside the roundabout. They help us ask not only, “Can I do this?” but, “Does this fit who I am and what I believe matters?”
One of the principles running through MOVE BEYOND is this: Beliefs shape values. Values shape lives.
When our direction is aligned with our values, decisions become clearer. Not necessarily easier—but clearer.
This is especially important in the second half of life. We have accumulated enough experience to know that every yes carries a no somewhere else. Time spent in one direction cannot simultaneously be spent in another.
The goal is not merely to exit. It is to exit intentionally.
Application: Stop Circling and Take the Next Step
So how do you know if you are living in a roundabout?
Look for repeated motion without meaningful change.
Are you revisiting the same decision month after month? Complaining about the same circumstance without changing your response? Gathering information you never apply? Waiting to feel completely confident before acting? Blaming circumstances for choices that are still within your control?
Perhaps it is time to stop counting laps around the roudabout.
Start with three questions:
- Where am I? That is Position.
- What do I need to see differently? That is Perspective.
- What matters enough for me to move toward it? That is Purpose.
Then add the deeper MOVE BEYOND question: What thought, belief, fear, grievance, or false identity keeps pulling me back into the circle?
You do not need the entire road mapped before you move. You need enough truth to identify the next healthy step.
Make the call. Submit the proposal. Begin the class. Have the conversation. Rewrite the plan. Ask for help. Set the boundary. Use the talent. Revisit the dream. Take one action that moves you beyond another lap. And if you need help, don’t hesitate to get it. There are a lot of resources available, including some that we provide.
Roundabouts are useful places for changing direction.
They are terrible places to live.
Your experience has value. Your setbacks can teach you. What has been broken can be restored. Your values can provide direction, and your purpose can give you the courage to choose an exit.
- The goal is not frantic motion.
- The goal is forward movement.
So if you recognize that you have been circling, do not waste energy condemning yourself for the miles already traveled. Learn from them. Establish your position. Elevate your perspective. Clarify your purpose. Move beyond the thinking that keeps returning you to the same place.
Then turn on your signal—and take the exit.
Additional Resources
Move Beyond: From Brokenness to Purpose by Deborah Johnson: new late fall 2026! "Beauty isn't found in what was never broken; it's revealed in what has been restored.“
Women at Halftime: Principles for Producing Your Successful Second Half by Deborah Johnson: Will you merely face into the second half of life, operating with a tired and outdated strategy, living on autopilot? Or will you successfully reinvent yourself and climb to your personal peak of Hero Mountain? Chapter 4 includes Core Common Denominator®
Power of After: What’s Next Can be Your Most Purposeful Chapter by Deborah Johnson. This book helps you answer the crucial question, "What's next?" as you create your ideal business using AI and other current technologies.
Stop Circling: Steps to Escape Endless Roundabouts: provides both the inspirational perspective and solid tools to design an individual or professional future path and to get individuals there successfully.
Get The SUMMIT on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/4z3mDIs
HALFERS Position Free Download
YouTube Channel: Mindset & Mental Strength for Mid-Career Growth
Personalized Mentorship: Thoughtful guidance for your next chapter creating clarity, confidence & momentum.
The Summit book by Deborah Johnson
Goal Setting Worksheets-free download!
Hero Mountain Summit- a 5-month "Power of After" journey to help you answer "What's Next?" with your desired lifestyle & maximized skills and experience.
FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks
YouTube Podcast Playlist: Women at Halftime/Power of After
A roundabout is meant to help you change direction—not become your permanent address.
deborah johnson
Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author
If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning
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