When I went to get my driver’s permit, I looked at the eye chart and—without being dyslexic—somehow started reading it backwards. My mother immediately marched me to the eye doctor, where we discovered one eye was nearsighted and the other farsighted. I left with glasses, passed the test just fine, and honestly didn’t even need them to drive. My vision was okay—but the fine-tuning helped in other areas. And that’s exactly what we’re doing today: a little fine-tuning.
There’s a tension many thoughtful, capable people feel—especially at mid-career or in the “after” season of life. On one side is focus. On the other is freedom. Today, we’re told we must choose our focus: Be disciplined or enjoy life. Be productive or present. Be serious about our purpose or spontaneous. But that’s a false choice.
The real work of this season is learning how to be focused, not rigid—to move forward with intention without becoming brittle, joyless, or consumed by our own goals. This is not about drifting. It’s about direction with flexibility. It creates structure with breathing room and purpose without pressure. And it’s not accidental. It’s designed.
The Cost of Rigidity
- Guilt when you rest
- Anxiety when plans change
- Measuring your worth by productivity
- Feeling behind even when you’re doing well
Focus is About Direction, Not Control
- Why you’re doing what you’re doing
- What matters most right now
- What doesn’t need your attention
Purpose is the Anchor that Makes Flexibility Possible
One of the greatest gifts of the Power of After season of life is perspective. You’ve lived enough life to know what drains you, what energizes you and what you no longer want to prove or do. This is where clear purpose becomes essential.
Purpose isn’t a slogan. It’s not a vague sense of “doing something meaningful” or even “legacy building.” Purpose is a through-line. It should be carried through how you spend your time, energy and resources. Purpose includes:
- A problem you care about solving
- A group you feel called to serve
- A contribution you want your work to make
When your purpose is clear, you don’t need to micromanage your life. So why is that true? Because purpose becomes your compass. It’s the clear focus that points you in the right direction. It’s like the clear command we give to Siri that’s not confusing or misleading.
If an opportunity aligns with your purpose, you can say yes. If it doesn’t, you can say no—without guilt or feeling like you’re missing out. If life interrupts your schedule because of a family issue, health issue or any other matter, you can step away—because you know where you’re headed when you return. A clear purpose reduces anxiety because it replaces urgency with direction that’s confident and well-thought out.
Core Values: The Quiet Decision Makers
If purpose is the compass, core values are the guardrails that guide that purpose. The appendix in my book “Stop Circling” covers core values in a way that is practical and extremely impactful. Core values show up repeatedly in our lives across many different situations—through our relationships, whether stable or changing; family commitments; how we structure our schedules; the type of work we choose to support our desired lifestyle; and, of course, how we spend our time and money. Those values should be reviewed often.
Our values answer the daily questions: How will I work? What will I protect? What will I no longer sacrifice? Core values are not aspirational traits. They are practiced commitments that are thought out and intentional. Whether or not you state them, they are there, demonstrated by our actions. For example:
- We can create margin in our schedules instead of constant availability.
- We choose integrity over speed of execution.
- We pursue healthy relationships over relentless growth and misplaced priorities.
When values are clear, decisions become simpler. And as a result, the feeling of overwhelm decreases. You don’t need to debate every choice. You can ask yourself: Does this align with what matters most, especially at this time my life? This is where rigidity begins to soften because you’re no longer reacting to pressure. This is because you’re responding from principle.
A Schedule that Serves Life
One of the most practical—and overlooked—ways to live focused without being rigid is through intentional scheduling. Many people schedule tasks. Very few schedule values. This is an area I am constantly aware of in my life since I’m so project-driven. Planning ahead with intentionality really helps me balance this in many ways. An aligned schedule reflects priorities, protects energy and allows for rest without guilt. When I’ve put in hard work and find myself exhausted, I can be guilt-free taking a cat-nap. Taking even an unexpected break doesn’t mean abandoning structure. It means designing it differently.
Because we have fruit trees, we’re very serious about rat control. One day, our little dog Amelia chased a rat into the pool. I was shocked to discover rats can swim—and this one was paddling hard for his life, looking for an edge to escape. He never found it, thanks to a pool net and a trash bin. It’s a funny story in many ways—but it perfectly captures how many of us feel like we’re treading water and hoping to reach a solid ground to escape pressure.
Here’s a simple shift for our mindset: At the beginning of our week, instead of asking,
“What do I need to get done this week?” We can ask, What kind of week do I want to experience?” From there, you design your schedule around:
- Focus blocks instead of constant availability. That type of availability can feel like you’re treading water.
- White space for thinking, walking and reflecting. A good book on this is Cal Newport’s Deep Work.
- Rhythms that support creativity and health instead of stress and panic. This takes intentionality.
When your schedule reflects your values, rest becomes part of the system—not a failure of discipline. Guilt around rest is one of the most persistent struggles for capable, purpose-driven people—especially those with Type A tendencies or highly compulsive patterns that can heighten anxiety. I can totally identify. The underlying belief sounds like this: “If I stop, everything will fall apart!” That belief is not humility. It’s a systems problem. When everything depends on your constant presence, the issue isn’t your commitment—it’s your structure. This is where good systems matter.
Systems that Keep Moving-So You Don't Have to
Systems are not about control. They’re about continuity. And they are not boring! Healthy systems:
- Carry momentum when you step away—. This is very freeing for those of us who are in the “travel years.” I have worked hard to structure my systems to be able to easily keep momentum going while traveling, even for weeks without a blip. And it’s a joy to share those systems with others, several I’ve shared in the Power of After book.
- Healthy systems reduce decision fatigue and overwhelm.
- Solid and simple systems free your mind for higher-level thinking.
A healthy system can include a weekly rhythm or schedule for communication or content, automation for routine tasks, which can also be given to a virtual assistant. Clear boundaries around availability and content and processes that’s easily accessible without you.
The goal is not to remove yourself from meaningful work. The goal is to remove yourself from everything that doesn’t require you to be always present. When systems are in place, breaks are no longer disruptions. They’re built into the design. You can rest, travel, reflect—or simply breathe—without anxiety, because you’ve created something sustainable.
You stop proving your hard work and you start stewarding. In the Bible, a steward is someone entrusted with managing what belongs to another. The Greek word most often used in the New Testament is oikonomos, meaning a household manager or administrator—one responsible for overseeing property, resources, or responsibilities on behalf of the owner. For us as stewards, we manage what we have been given personally and professionally, which includes skills, experience and resources.
Stewardship is a hallmark of the Power of After season. This is not a season of doing less because you can’t do more. It’s a season of doing what matters—on purpose with the incredible bank of skills and resources you’ve accumulated.
Application: Focused, Not Rigid
If you’re feeling stretched, tired, or quietly resistant to the pace you’ve been keeping, consider this question: Where have I confused rigidity with commitment or a strong work ethic? And then this one: What would it look like to trust clear directions more than control?
I tend to slip into backseat-driver mode—even when I’m sitting in the front seat. Sometimes we simply need to relax, trust that the directions are handled, and let the journey unfold. You don’t need a total overhaul. You need alignment. If a car is out of alignment, you can feel it pull to one side or another. You need clarity of purpose grounded in core values. Then you need a mindset that allows rest and systems that support continuity. That combination creates a life that moves forward—even when you pause.
The goal is not a perfectly optimized life. The goal is a well-oriented life. One where you know why you’re doing what you’re doing. One where your work supports your life, not consumes it. One where you can enjoy the moment and trust the directions. In other words, it’s focused, not rigid and that’s the Power of After!
Additional Resources
Goal Setting Worksheets-free download!
Hero Mountain Summit- a 5-month "Power of After" journey to help you answer "What's Next?" with your desired lifestyle & maximized skills and experience.
Power of After: What’s Next Can Be Your Most Purposeful Chapter by Deborah Johnson
Stop Circling: Steps to Escape Endless Roundabouts by Deborah Johnson
Deep Work by Cal Newport
To be focused is about direction with flexibility.
It creates structure with breathing room and purpose without pressure.
deborah johnson
Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author
If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning
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