Have you ever noticed that setbacks rarely send a calendar invitation? They simply show up—just like the bear who recently wandered in our yard to eat my apples! He wasn’t invited!
Sometimes a setback is a relationship that changes unexpectedly. A trusted friend moves away. A marriage goes through a difficult season or it ends. An aging parent suddenly needs more care and you’re not sure how to pay for it. Adult children move across the country, and family dynamics shift. When we were raising our family, parents and grandparents were fairly close by. But today, we have to get on a plane and fly across the country to see some of our kids.
Other setbacks include our health. We wake up one morning and realize our body doesn’t recover as quickly as it once did. We discover we need to exercise differently, eat differently, or simply slow down enough to take care of ourselves.
Financial setbacks arrive too. A company restructures. Investments fluctuate. Inflation changes the cost of everyday living. Retirement looks different than we imagined twenty years ago.
Then there are the professional setbacks. Careers plateau. Industries change. Technology races ahead. Artificial intelligence transforms the workplace. Suddenly we’re finding ourselves facing multiple setbacks with confusion and mounting stress. But a setback does not have to become your identity. It can become your turning point.
Every Setback Carries a Lesson
- “I’m too old.”
- “I missed my opportunity.”
- “I’ve lost my chance.”
- “I’m falling behind.”
- “What is this teaching me?”
- “What new opportunity is in front of me?”
- “What strengths have I developed because of this experience?”
Principle One: Separate the Event from Your Identity
- “I lost my job.”
- “My business failed.”
- “I went through a divorce.”
- “My health isn’t what it used to be.”
Principle Two: Focus on What You Can Control
One of the greatest drains on our emotional energy is spending time worrying about things we cannot change. We can’t change the economy. We can’t change our age. We can’t change yesterday’s decisions. We can’t control other people’s actions. But we can control our response.
We can continue learning. We can improve our health. We can strengthen our relationships. We can develop new skills. We can build better habits. Growth begins the moment we shift our attention from what we’ve lost to what we can build. That is a growth mindset and it’s empowering.
I talk often about what Psychologist Carol Dweck introduced in her book Mindset, the concept of a growth mindset—the belief that abilities can continue developing through learning, practice, and persistence.I love that idea because it reminds us that we’re never finished growing.
A growth mindset is contrasted with a fixed mindset that says: “I can’t do this.” A growth mindset says: “I can’t do this…yet.” That tiny word changes everything. Instead of asking whether you’re capable, ask how you can become more capable. Here are three things to remember:
- Every new skill increases confidence.
- Every small improvement builds momentum.
- Progress creates hope. And hope keeps many people alive.
Principle Three: Protect Your Health Like an Investment
Many of us spent the first half of life building careers. The second half reminds us to build health. Our bodies usually remind us of this fact as the years go by! Our energy level seems to change and without energy, everything else becomes harder.
Our physical health influences our emotional health which influences relationships which influences purpose and ultimately influences motivation. They all work together. Healthy habits become extremely important and they don’t have to be dramatic. Here are a few things we can do:
- Take a daily walk.
- Improve your sleep, either by going to bed earlier or other methods.
- Eat more intentionally and even plan your meals.
- Strength train a couple of times each week—yes, this includes weights!
- Spend time outdoors. Take a walk or develop a small garden.
- Laugh more and develop some new friendships. We don’t need to take ourselves so seriously!
- Reduce unnecessary stress. Anxiety comes in all forms. Find a way to relieve that anxiety by journaling or even taking a bath!
Your body is the vehicle carrying you into your next chapter so take care of it.
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is intentionally surrounding yourself with people who encourage growth. Find people who challenge you, who inspire you and who celebrate your progress rather than your excuses.
Healthy relationships provide perspective during difficult seasons and being honest with our conversations. There’s really nothing to prove! Friendships remind us that we’re not climbing the mountain alone.
Principle Four: Strenthen Your Financial Confidence
Financial setbacks can feel deeply personal. Markets fluctuate. Unexpected expenses happen. Businesses experience slow seasons and prices fluxuate.
Rather than responding with fear, respond with wisdom. Review your spending and create a default budget. I’ve spoken about this in some of my books, beginning with my very first book, Stuck is Not a Four-Letter Word. I also provide a free download with our Goal Setting Worksheets.
Simplify your life where possible. This is where that default budget is so important—it’s simple! Continue investing in learning and diversify your income when appropriate. There’s nothing wrong with getting help from a trusted advisor. It’s actually smart.
Look for ways to create assets rather than simply accumulating possessions. I’ve also spoken about assets like most cars and other toys that are depreciating in value. Evaluate those carefully. Financial confidence grows through consistent stewardship, not overnight success. There are a lot of books written on this. Small decisions repeated over time often produce remarkable results.
Principle Five: Build on Your Experience
One of the greatest myths of mid-career is believing that experience loses value. This mostly happens when we become self-critical of our age and abilities. Actually, the opposite is true. Technology changes, tools change and markets change but wisdom and experience becomes increasingly more valuable.
Experience teaches judgment, develops discernment, improves communication and strengthens leadership. I’ve written about this in the book Power of After. Artificial intelligence can provide information but it cannot replace wisdom earned through decades of living. Your experiences have prepared you to solve problems younger generations haven’t yet encountered. Don’t discount what you’ve learned. Build upon it.
You don’t have to solve everything today. You simply need to keep moving. When hikers climb a mountain, they don’t just stare at the summit. They focus on the next step. Then another. In my book The Summit, the protagonist has to keep moving forward to climb her Hero Mountain. This takes a mindset of overcoming obstacles, learning from them and not losing hope. This develops confidence, momentum and ultimately, success.
Perhaps today your next step is making one phone call or scheduling a medical appointment. It may be to update your résumé or take an online course. How about reaching out to an old friend, writing one page in a journal or recording one podcast? Every meaningful journey is built one intentional step at a time.
Your Best Chapter May Still Be Ahead
I’ve become convinced that many people underestimate what they can accomplish after mid-career. Not because life becomes easier but because experience becomes richer. You understand people better. You know your strengths more clearly. You care less about impressing others and more about making an impact. That’s definitely been true in my life.
Recognizing what truly matters is most important and that’s wisdom I pray for every day. Every setback we experience adds another layer to our story. Some chapters were painful and unexpected. I don’t want to forget those because they make me more grateful for where I am now.
None of those setbacks need to be the final chapter. Instead, they can become part of the preparation.
- Preparation for greater purpose.
- Preparation for deeper influence.
- Preparation for helping someone else navigate the very road you’ve already traveled.
So wherever you find yourself today—whether you’re facing challenges in your health, finances, relationships, career, or simply wondering what’s next—remember this: You are not defined by your setbacks. You are defined by how you respond to them. Keep learning. Keep growing. Keep serving. Keep believing.
Move beyond the setback with confidence because your experience, your resilience, and your purpose are still needed. Your next chapter may become your most meaningful as well as rewarding one yet.
Additional Resources
Women at Halftime: Principles for Producing Your Successful Second Half by Deborah Johnson: Will you merely face into the second half of life, operating with a tired and outdated strategy, living on autopilot? Or will you successfully reinvent yourself and climb to your personal peak of Hero Mountain?
Power of After: What’s Next Can be Your Most Purposeful Chapter by Deborah Johnson. This book helps you answer the crucial question, "What's next?" as you create your ideal business using AI and other current technologies.
Stop Circling: Steps to Escape Endless Roundabouts: provides both the inspirational perspective and solid tools to design an individual or professional future path and to get individuals there successfully.
HALFERS Position Free Download
YouTube Channel: Mindset & Mental Strength for Mid-Career Growth
Personalized Mentorship: Thoughtful guidance for your next chapter creating clarity, confidence & momentum.
The Summit book by Deborah Johnson
Goal Setting Worksheets-free download!
Hero Mountain Summit- a 5-month "Power of After" journey to help you answer "What's Next?" with your desired lifestyle & maximized skills and experience.
FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks
YouTube Podcast Playlist: Women at Halftime/Power of After
Many of our greatest lessons came from disappointments, failures, and unexpected detours.
deborah johnson
Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author
If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning
1,680 words
