Human connection is more than a luxury—it’s a necessity for our overall mental well-being. Research consistently shows that strong social interaction improves our mental health, lowers stress, and can even contribute to better physical health. These connections become even more crucial as we face unique career, family and physical challenges at this time in our life.
The risks of isolation are significant. In fact, some of our friends have moved away out of state, our kids are no longer in school with kids and parents that also expanded to be a part of our social group. And some of our career network groups have changed, making it more difficult to stay in contact with some of those colleagues that became much closer when we worked together. Without some of those connections, it becomes easier to fall into patterns of doing projects by ourselves, facing loneliness or stagnation. It takes an intentional effort to contact and nurture new as well as old friendships, especially for entrepreneurs or business owners. We’re busy!
The Unique Value of Friendships
Time to Nurture Connections
One of the biggest hurdles to maintaining friendships at halftime is time. Between career demands, family responsibilities, and personal aspirations, it can feel impossible to take time out for relationships. However, small, consistent efforts can go a long way in nurturing these connections.
We saw how technology was a lifesaver for many in staying connected during the COVID-19 shutdowns. Even without shutdowns, text messages, video calls and social media can help bridge the gap when schedules don’t align. My early morning schedule used to consist of me getting in my car and driving to the gym. But after our world shut down, those gyms were closed and when they opened back up, they didn’t open early enough for me. My husband and I had built into our own workout area with weights, a stationary bike and other equipment. But what I’ve missed most is the interaction with others, especially during the classes.
So I’ve taken the effort to join a walking group in my neighborhood and have plan some events at our home to get to know some of my neighbors better. Also, when there are events that include those who I’d like to stay in contact with, I take the effort to attend. This is intentional because I’m basically an introvert! For example, I recently attended a reunion, of sorts with some of my Grammy voter contacts. I RSVP’d as I felt it was important to see some of those contacts in person that I’ve only communicated with online for the past year. Many of those people are from all around the world. I so appreciated hearing from some of them as they checked on me during the recent intense fires in our area. Attending events provides the opportunity for me to thank them in person.
Building New Relationships
While maintaining existing friendships is important, building new ones can be equally rewarding. It’s never too late to form meaningful connections. It just takes time and effort. We’ve seen a huge surge of groups getting together because the popularity of Pickleball. If you’ve seen tennis courts with additional lines and nets, you realize Pickleball has infiltrated many areas. This is because it’s fairly easy to pick up the game and provides a wonderful social get-together. You don’t have to be a top athlete to play. In fact, in some places you can just show up and enjoy the outing.
Other events like reading groups, Bible studies, clubs for both men and women, business groups and many more types of opportunities, are occasions to meet people who align with our evolving values and interests. The issue then becomes to not become over committed, which is not always easy! It does take time and effort, but it’s well worth expending that energy. The payoff can be extremely rewarding. Get FREE "Friends" download: FRIENDS
The Role of Friendship in Reinventing Yourself
Halftime, or midlife, which according to many internet sources, officially happens after the age of 40. It is often a time of reinvention. Whether it’s starting a new career, launching a business, or exploring personal goals, having supportive friends can make all the difference in providing perspective during life changes. They provide encouragement, a sounding board, help us celebrate successes, and even offer a listening ear during setbacks.
Surrounding ourselves with people who inspire and challenge us is crucial for our continual growth. Remember, it also takes effort and time to become a friend to others. However, beware of those who are energy-suckers! Be careful to not be dragged down by those with a constant negative attitude or a doom and gloom outlook. I choose to spend more time with those people who share a positive ambition and optimism. Their energy is contagious. That’s not to say we don’t look to lift others up when they’re down, but make sure we are not overtaken by those who can continually drag us down.
Also, it’s fun to add some younger friends with their perspectives and enthusiasm. I’ve had great conversations with some friends our kids age, who are now all adult children, and it’s refreshing when we can respect each other and even learn from each other. It’s funny how we can still have a lot in common.
Practical Steps to Deepen Friendships
Deepening friendships doesn’t require grand gestures. Often, it’s the small, consistent acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that matter most. Here are a few practical ways to strengthen your relationships:
One: Be Present: Listen, listen and listen. Give your full attention during conversations. It’s time to put away that phone and show genuine interest in what your friends have to say.
Two: Give: Regularly let your friends know how much you appreciate them. Since we are on a property where we have fruit trees, it’s fun to share the abundance when our fruit comes in. I keep plenty of small bags handy. I also like to send hand-written notes. Those types of notes are unusual enough that they are impactful and appreciated.
Three: Show Vulnerability: Sharing thoughts and feelings fosters trust and deepens connections. You’ll be amazed at how similar, and even humorous some of our experiences can be.
Four: Be Reliable: Consistency builds trust. Follow through on commitments and be there for your friends in times of need. A couple of my friends just lost their mothers. I know how that feels as I still miss my mom after a number of years. Following up, not just days after, but months after, is important because grief doesn’t just last a day or even a week.
Application: The Value of Community
At its core, friendship is about building community. It becomes an extension of our families. Strong communities are built on the foundation of meaningful connections, where individuals support and uplift one another. By fostering these relationships, we create a ripple effect that benefits not only ourselves but also those around us.
The importance of human connection and friendship cannot be overstated, especially as we navigate the complexities of our mid-years and the changes life brings. These relationships provide the support, encouragement, and inspiration we need to continue living our best life. By prioritizing friendships, nurturing connections, and building community, we not only enrich our own lives but also contribute to a more connected and compassionate world.
So take the time to reach out, show someone you care, and invest in the relationships that matter most. After all, it’s these connections that make life truly meaningful.
Additional Resources
The Ripple Effect of Kindness – Article by Deborah Johnson
Life Reimagined: The Science, Art and Opportunity of Midlife by Barbara Bradley Hagerty
The Five Top Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing by Bronnie Ware
Individual Mentorship Guidance with Deborah Johnson
At mid-career and midlife, friends can serve as mentors, accountability partners, or collaborators. They provide insight and wisdom, helping us tackle challenges with clarity.
deborah johnson
Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author
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