I often remember the lyrics of a simple song I sang in a choir, “Always in a hurry, always in a hurry, always in a hurry day and night!” In fact, I can still remember the melody! I never wanted my life to demonstrate those lyrics, but some days I feel like it does! Especially when I’m trying to get a project all the way done, usually with self-imposed deadlines. For anyone who has raised children, those lyrics may describe many of your days and nights! But we do have choices. Our busyness is not a badge of honor and life doesn’t have to be filled with activities every second of the day.
The idea of enjoying life while staying focused can feel like an impossible balancing act. Yet, the ability to both savor some of the moments of life and remain on course with our personal and professional goals isn’t just desirable—it’s essential. Without the ability to laugh and take ourselves less seriously, we can become dry, mundane and even boring! So how do we keep our focus while taking time to enjoy more of life? Here we will approach four principles that serve as good reminders.
One: The Hustle Culture is a Myth
Two: Create a Values Centered Life
Reviewing our core values often helps us stay on course. It is from those values that we define a strong purpose and specify goals. Enjoying life and staying focused require clarity. Without a clear sense of what matters most, it's easy to get swept up in distractions that offer temporary pleasure but leave us unfulfilled. Howard Schultz, in his memoir Pour Your Heart Into It: How Starbucks Built a Company One Cup at a Time, outlines his goals as well as values.
When facing tough business decisions, Schultz took solo walks to reflect and refocus. Facing burnout, he stepped down as CEO from Starbucks in 2000. He later returned, refreshed and with a renewed focus. His family and faith also provided a strong foundation for slowing down and reflecting on what was most important. He states in his second book Onward, “Success is empty if you arrive at the finish line alone.” For me, enjoying moments over cappuccinos or a glass of wine with my husband on our patio are well-worth the time. I have gained some wonderful insights in those moments as we sit and talk.
Take time to define your values, goals, and priorities. What do you want your days to be filled with? Who do you want to become? Who do you want to spend time with? This clarity helps filter out the noise. It allows you to say no to things that don't serve your larger purpose, even if they're enjoyable in the moment. At the same time, it enables you to say yes to experiences that align with your values—from meaningful work to moments of rest and connection.
Three: The Role of Boundaries--Create Them!
It can be quite embarrassing if you lose a grip on a bowling ball and just drop it in the lane as it falls into the gutter. Or worse yet, propel the heavy ball to go behind you, scattering a group of people faster than oil separates from water. Both of those embarrassing situations have happened to me. And even though I’ve obtained more than a few strikes while bowling in the past, I’ve never been one who excels at most any sport. I mostly remember the gutter balls I executed with no chance to even knock down one pin. Most realize that to achieve a decent score in bowling, the ball has to stay within the boundaries of the lane.
Bowling is a good example of staying on track. If you watch any of the professional leagues, you can see all sorts of antics and movements before the ball is finally released. But no matter what movements are made before that ball is released, it is still focused on staying right on course to travel down the lane for knocking over pins.
Bowling boundaries are a powerful illustration of how important certain boundaries are in our life. Our core values provide good guidelines for our personal and professional boundaries. If it’s been awhile since you’ve revisited those values, now is a good time to do so. I go into more depth on creating those values in the appendix of my Stop Circling book, but there are two main categories under the umbrella of values. One is faith and the other character. If we don’t know what we believe in and stand for, it’s easy to let time, energy, technology use, and even relationships fall into the gutter. Creating structured time for reviewing those values with both focused work and intentional rest and play allows us to show up fully in each area. Then, when working, we're all in. When we’re relaxing, we're not feeling guilty or distracted. Boundaries protect our priorities and make space for both discipline and fun.
Four: Beware of the Lack of Focus
Our world full of distractions—but our little dog Amelia has laser focus. She’s part terrier, and that hunting instinct is hardwired into her tiny frame. Despite being a little over seven pounds, she charges after anything that moves, especially if she thinks she’s guarding me. Recently, she managed to scare a rat straight into our pool—yes, a rat. And for the record, I didn’t know rats could swim until I witnessed this one doing laps for its life. Amelia, undeterred, kept her eyes locked on that soggy intruder until we could fish it out. I’ll spare you the details of the rat’s final moments, but let’s just say that was both his first—and last—swim. Now that’s focus.
The lack of focus easily leads to distractions, which not only interrupt our work, but our friendships. Whether we’re working on a business project or having coffee with a friend a clear focus helps us resist the urge to multitask, which often leads to scattered attention and diminished enjoyment. We can find ourselves suddenly thinking of all the things we have left undone instead of enjoying the moment or engaging in a fun conversation. I’m speaking especially to the ‘Type A’s’ here, including myself, but this applies to everyone.
With a clear focus, ridding ourselves of distractions, we gain deeper satisfaction from our experiences. A walk outside can refresh us as we’re able to enjoy being away from our desk and phone. Its much more refreshing than hours of mindless scrolling. In the same way, a focused hour of work can yield better results than an entire distracted day. The book Deep Work by Cal Newport approaches this in detail.
Application
· Assess Your Mindset – Let go of the need for perfection or balance in every area of life. Use delegation wisely to balance work and life responsibilities to free up time and space to simply rest and recharge.
· Revisit Your Core Values – Ensure your daily work and life align with what matters most to you. Take time out to reflect, connect with friends, and enjoy moments of laughter.
· Set Healthy Boundaries – Protect your time and energy and know your limits. Guard your sleep time and carve out moments just for you, even something as simple as a quiet bath.
· Review Your Priorities Regularly – Focus on what truly matters. When distractions creep in, remember the power a of single-minded focus—like little Amelia and her rat mission!
Additional Resources
Stop Circling: Steps to Escape Endless Roundabouts by Deborah Johnson
Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder by Arianna Huffington
Onward: How Starbucks Fought for its Life Without Losing its Soul by Howard Schultz
Stop Circling: Steps to Escape Endless Roundabouts by Deborah Johnson
Pour Your Heart Into It: How Starbucks Built a Company One Cup at a Time by Howard Schultz
Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport
Our busyness is not a badge of honor and life doesn’t have to be filled with activities every second of the day.
deborah johnson
Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author
If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning
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