Women at Halftime
I work with a lot of women, and specifically women at halftime. When I tell others of this, I often see their eyes light up. They then ask the question, When does halftime begin? as they wonder if they’re actually there yet. Officially, halftime is defined as after the age of 40, which includes 150,000 women every month entering their second half. In many respects, that age seems young as many women focus on their careers, then start their families even in their mid-thirties. Most women I work with are between 50 and 60 as they are hit hard with some of the realities of halftime.
Realities of Halftime-Are any of these you?
- You need touch-ups between your monthly hair appointments.
- Those extra five pounds have permanently been applied to your hips.
- Looking closely in the magnifying mirror, laugh lines are looking more like wrinkles. You start a fund for wrinkle cream, realizing the investment you will be making for the next 20 years.
- Didn’t you used to have perky boobs?
- You gasp as you look in the mirror—you look like your mother!
Sure, men read my books and are helped by going through the principles, but I am passionate about this stage in a woman’s life. There are many women who come across very strong on the outside, but are hurting and confused inside. I’ve faced many of the hurdles women at halftime are facing and discovered the principles and mindsets that are vital to live a productive and significant second half. It’s nearly impossible to speak to everyone at halftime with some women still raising families, some who have older children and such a large span of experience. However, I do find many of the principles are universal.
Recently as I’ve been doing a bit of soul-searching on my personal why in doing what I do, the thread that holds everything together for me is the passion of equipping and empowering women to make their second half better than their first. It’s not just a program, but a mission to help them feel they are enough, confident and capable.
Bobbi Brown started her cosmetics company in 1991 with just $5,000. It was acquired by Estée Lauder in 1995 for $74.5 million. She then stepped down in 2016 and states about her new venture Beauty Evolution: To make women feel good in their bodies. This drives all her products, projects and message. She says that authenticity and well-being should not be a trend. Being transparent should also not be a trend. Being authentic in your message goes back to your why. Authenticity is obvious and visible, coming from the inside out.
There are so many advantages to life at halftime. Along with a depth of experience, wide range of skills and ability to focus, usually there is greater freedom. Of course, some of this freedom depends on relationship status and family obligations. Many at halftime are faced with caring for parents and some are also still caring for children, the true sandwich generation! However, this should not hinder those women from growing personally and professionally. There is always a way.
A larger challenge lies in combatting the increasing negative language, or head trash. Am I good enough? Am I too old to start anything new? What about the self-talk of, The world is passing me by-I’m too old! Even though that negative language can happen at any stage of life, those voices tend to shout at halftime with all the changes that occur.
Some women at halftime desire to create more significance, not just success. Significance can mean working with a non-profit, giving back. It can also mean developing a business with a strong purpose and mission, like Bobbi Brown’s. It may also mean cutting down hours and traveling more. Defining those goals and developing a plan helps to get started on a new venture, even along-side a current business. If you are at halftime, here are some first steps to creating your better second half.
First Steps to Halftime Success
Step ONE: Evaluate where you are. Look at your situation honestly including your work, your relationships and your well-being. Spend some time on this. There are no shortcuts to thinking through your situation honestly and realistically.
Step TWO: Take out your journal. Write down what you like about your life and what you’d like to change. It’s O.K. to dream a little!
Step THREE: Take a mental head-trash survey. Is there a particular negative phrase that makes its way in your self-talk? Write it down. Then take those words and write some power words on top of them to change the negative words to productive and inspiring words. (This takes some time and effort!)
Step FOUR: Write two power words. Put them somewhere you will see and say them every day: I CAN.
Then believe those words because you are enough!