For an article focused on celebrating moms, I could cover the history of Mother’s Day with Anna Jarvis in 1908 with it becoming an official U.S. holiday in 1914, but that information is readily available. So, I decided to focus on the practical aspects and emotion of the day and what it has meant to me as a mom, and now a mother-in-law and grandmother. I also wanted to encourage giving gifts of time or gifts of sentiments to those who have played a mother figure in our lives as they will far outlast most physical gifts.
I urge us all to take time to express gratitude and appreciation for those who have been an integral figure in our lives. Sharing memories and reflections with them is a gift in and of itself. Encouragement comes in all shapes and forms, and can take the form of a letter, a physical gift and also providing time or resources to pursue a special interest. Many moms are balancing not only children or grandchildren but advocating or caring for aging parents or friends. Stress levels are at an all-time high when also continuing to work in an inflationary society where bills continue to pile up with a debt level that never seems to diminish.
I encourage you to write your own missive to someone you care about. I’ve provided my letter as a free download and you are welcome to glean any ideas you may feel appropriate. After reading the letter I’ve included some ideas for special gifts that will hopefully spark your imagination.
Letter to Mom: Mother's Day 2019
Dear Mom: Even though dear mom is a sweet, normal beginning, it still sounds so impersonal and bland to just start with such a scripted salutation. You always blushed when dad called you his sweet pea, but now it sounds so much more personal and appropriate than just a dear mom. He was such a big part of your life and of all our lives and I really miss him. But you are also a big part of my life and I’m so thankful I still have you.
This year has been one of many changes. Within eleven weeks we lost our beloved father and your beloved husband of sixty-six years. He teared up so many times in the past years thinking you would be the one to go first, as you were in such constant pain, fighting both cancer and fibromyalgia. He could hardly bear to think of living life without you. Who could have foreseen that he would go first and so quickly? Certainly none of us saw it coming!
As my sisters and I have been sorting through many of the possessions of a life snuffed out so quickly, I have been reminded again and again of your giving spirit. When there was very little money for new clothes, you sewed not only your own tailored suits, using remnants you found on clearance, but dresses for my sisters and I for musical performances and special occasions. We found many of those dresses you made, still stuffed in closets.
Even before we reached our middle school years, you taught us to sew our own clothes. It was no surprise when our home economic instructor gave us an A grade. Our abilities were far beyond our classmates as you had equipped us, not just in sewing, but in all matters of life and keeping a home.
Our house was usually the gathering place for most of the events and parties for both friends and groups. From church youth groups to neighborhood get-togethers to birthday slumber parties, you held the door wide open. It didn’t matter that we had hand-me-down furniture for many years. Most of my friends wanted to sit on the floor anyway. My best memories are of the laughter, the games and the music.
Oh yes, the music. You somehow convinced dad of the importance of music lessons, even when there was very little money. From the first upright piano you obtained—probably given free as it was fairly old, to the quarter-sized violin my sister started on, you scraped together the money for instruments and lessons. You were the one who laid on my bed, as that first upright was in my room until I could play something decent, listening to the repetition of my arpeggios, chords, inversions and scales, over and over. You wouldn’t let me stop until I had repeated them at least twenty times. For that, I’m extremely grateful as that repetition has served me well professionally for many years. (Download Letter to Mom here)
You were told by some music instructor you were tone deaf. Not for a second do I believe that, for there are very few truly in that tone-deaf camp. But your artistry definitely came out in other areas. The artistry you demonstrated in your painting and porcelain work astounded all who were able to see the figurines and pictures you created. Your attention to detail and color still astounds me when I look at the pieces you have given me. They are now treasured and on display in my home.
The years are going faster now. You are in a place where most of your needs are being met as dad is not here to care for you. Even though you’ve been diagnosed with Dementia, it has not taken full effect and for that I’m truly grateful. We can still enjoy lunches, celebrations, shopping and special events together. Much of the time your memory seems so very sharp and it’s as though time is standing still. But I know time is marching on and there are days when your memory is not as clear.
As I write this letter, I realize the next years will hold many more changes. Selfishly, I hope God ushers you into His arms before you no longer recognize my voice and my kisses on your face. It’s so difficult to see the loss of a mind and true talent. But know that I will be here for you to the very end, even if you no longer recognize me. You are my mother and my love for you has grown unexpectedly this year with the loss of dad and the drastic changes that have taken place for our whole family. I think I feel more love for you now than I ever have. Those feelings are somewhat surprising to me, but may be normal when experiencing loss.
I feel so fortunate I can celebrate you this year on Mother’s Day. Even though some of your decisions were not perfect, you were a wonderful mother and I appreciate more than ever the sacrifices you made for my sisters and I so we could have much more opportunity than you ever did. I hope to always honor your giving, hospitable spirit and give you the respect and love you deserve to the very end because you hold one of the greatest positions given to any woman in the world, that of mom. And you’re not just any mom, you’re my mom.
With all my love, Debbie
Easy Gifts and Takeaways
ONE: Take a moment to write a heartfelt thank-you or a brief note of encouragement to someone who has been a mother figure in your life. Start by reminiscing about a memory you shared, then express your deep appreciation for the significant role they've played in shaping your life. You'll find that the words come naturally as you reflect on gratitude and thankfulness.
TWO: Give a thoughtful token of appreciation that focuses on self-care whether a scented bath product or gift card for a favorite cappuccino. Self-care can also include gifting a captivating book or an engaging online course that promotes personal well-being and growth. For a truly unique and special treat, seek out a book signed by the author, adding a personalized touch to your thoughtful gift.
THREE: Give the invaluable gift of time, whether it's enjoying a meal out or embarking on a shopping adventure. The act of spending time together communicates love and appreciation, particularly to those who value such moments. My mother-in-law absolutely loved to shop and couldn’t stop talking about the times my husband took her shopping. Of course, he benefited quite nicely because he always came home with something special that he probably wouldn’t have bought for himself! I also remember the time our youngest son took me to lunch and we went shopping, which is not one of my favorite activities. But I found a pair of sunglasses I was looking for and I so appreciated having his opinion! I wore those sunglasses for years!
FOUR: Look through the languages of love to discover her love language. You can see all five in the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. If gifts of service mean the most to her, taking over a task to alleviate her responsibilities will mean a great deal. If time is her love language, shopping mentioned in number three will mean the most.
Gift Ideas to Spark the Imagination
- Personalized Jewelry
- Personalized book signed by the author, or a gift book mailed directly from Amazon.
- Custom Photo Album or Frame
- Spa Day or Massage
- Homemade Gift Basket
- Handwritten Letter or Card
- Cook a Special Meal
- Plant or Flower Subscription: For two succulents a month, this is a great option at: https://succulent.studio/ https://goalsforyourlife.com/selling-succulents/
- Experience or Activity Together
- Completed job on a “to do” list
- Time Together
- Give the gift of music with sharing a song or special poem. See some suggestions here: https://djworksmusic.com/special-events/
Many moms are balancing not only children or grandchildren but advocating or caring for aging parents or friends.
deborah johnson
Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author
If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning
1,442 words
